Fingers Of One Hand
by Jacinta-10
Summary: Post Disaster Relief. He can count the people he trusts on the fingers of one hand.


TITLE: **Fingers Of One Hand**  
AUTHOR: Jacinta  
SUMMARY: He can count on the fingers of one hand, the people he can trust right now.  
SPOILERS: Post Disaster Relief  
CHARACTERS: Josh, Toby, Leo  
RATING: PG  
DISCLAIMER: They belong to John Wells, Aaron Sorkin, NBC......... 

* * *

Josh catches up with Toby outside the White House. "You didn't actually buy the boat, did you?"

"No," Toby smiles. "It was a nice dream though."

"Can you even sail a boat?"

"Sam could have come back and given me lessons."

"Yeh, that would've been good," Josh agrees.

"What you doing now?"

"Going home," Josh replies.

"Okay. I have no plans for the evening."

"Beer, take out and TV?"

"Yeh."

_____________________________________

Three hours, and plenty of alcohol, later Josh and Toby are watching the replay of a football game "You were one of them by the way," Josh suddenly says.

"One of what?" Toby asks as he glances away from the game.

"The people I can trust. You, Donna, CJ - that was it," Josh continues.

"It's longer than that."

"It is?"

"Sam, your mother?"

"I meant at work, but yeh okay, adding Sam makes it longer at least. Adding my mom though, that makes it seem a little sad," Josh smiles.

"Added anymore since?"

"Ryan, maybe."

Toby looks back at the TV before saying. "He'll calm down."

"Maybe, but he won't forget. We'll see how Angela does."

Toby glances back at Josh, "You want her to fail?"

"No." Josh sees Toby's skeptical look. "I don't, honestly. If she fails then we fail. Doesn't mean I've got to like her though."

"Never did before," Toby points out.

Josh takes another drink of his beer and watches the game. "Who's playing?"

"Haven't got a clue."

"I got offered three jobs today in the private sector."

"That'd please your mother," Toby smiles.

"Yeh, it would," Josh agrees.

"You're not thinking about taking any of them are you?"

"Nice to be offered."

"Are you?" Toby asks again.

"No, they don't get rid of me that easy."

"Good. You leave and they've won."

Josh laughs bitterly, "Yeh and if I stay I get to keep my title and my staff."

"What?"

"It's what Leo told me on Monday, He's slimming out my portfolio, but I get to keep my title and my staff, been bugging me all week that I didn't say 'Gee thanks'." Josh replies angrily. 

Toby smiles slightly, "I was wondering when you'd get angry."

"I got angry on Monday night. You didn't hear about my little rant at the Capitol?"

"You ranted at the Capitol?"

"Yeh, stood in the middle of the street and shouted, which I admit seems a little odd. I think I may have scared Ryan, and Donna when he told her. She's been watching me all week, like she's wondering if she should call Stanley Keyworth."

"No she isn't. She's just looking out for you."

"I know," Josh agrees. "Doesn't help that she's been talking to my mom everyday."

"That's 'cos you haven't."

"Yeh," Josh mutters. "You ever wish Leo had fired you with the rest of the staff?"

"Occasionally," Toby admits "Why?"

"This is the first time I've wished he'd not asked me to go to New Hampshire. Even after I was shot I didn't regret joining the campaign, but this week.... I.... I don't think.... I've never felt this shit about work before, not ever."

Toby nods, because really what can he say? Josh has just been told by Leo, the one person he thought he could trust above anyone, that he can't do his job anymore, a job that's his life. There's nothing Toby can say to make that feel any better and he knows it. All he can do is make sure Josh knows that he's there for him, no matter what. Though he hopes Josh already knew that. 

Josh smiles, "This is where you're suppose to tell me it'll get better, to keep my chin up, not to let them grind me down."

Toby smiles back, "You want meaningless platitudes?"

"No," Josh laughs.

_____________________________________

"What's wrong," Jordan asks, finally giving up on getting any sleep tonight.

"Nothing?"

"Then could you possibly stop tossing and turning?"

"Sorry."

"I may not work in politics, Leo, but I have a TV and I read newspapers - for stories of you obviously," she smiles. "It's Josh isn't it?"

"What's Josh?"

"That's keeping you awake."

"I guess. I'm not exactly his favorite person at the moment."

"He's upset."

"He's not the only one. I trusted him to sort Carrick out and look what happened. And he's upset?" Leo asks.

Jordan sighs. She doesn't know Josh particular well, she's only met him a few times, but she knows Leo loves him and she suspects that Josh feels the same. What she doesn't quite understand is why Leo can't see that the reason both him and Josh are upset isn't just about Carrick, the leadership, the Hill or the administration. But then they're men, so what can you expect.

"You fallen asleep?" Leo asks. 

"Not much chance of that tonight," Jordan mutters. "That's why he's upset, Leo. You trusted him to do a job and he failed, he thinks he let you down."

Leo hated seeing the look in Josh's eyes this last week. He'd expected anger and resentment, but instead he got hurt and dejection. Josh hasn't shouted at him once. When he told him about Angela, he thought Josh would blow his top, but he just looked upset. While he has no intention of changing his mind about cutting back Josh's responsibilities or about bringing in Angela, maybe he could have shown Josh a little more support privately. But he's disappointed in him. He loves Josh, he knows Josh would walk through fire for him, literally probably, which would be no small feat for Josh.

"I thought you and Josh were close?" Jordan interrupts his thoughts. "You talk about him all the time, if he was a woman I'd be a little jealous," she teases.

"We are close, but I can't let that affect my judgment. What do you think I should have done? Said it was okay because it's Josh, because he's like...... I can't let personal feelings interfere with work."

"But you are. I understand why you have to keep him out of meetings and off the Hill. I do know how Washington works, Leo. But you've shut him out completely haven't you? You didn't wait even a day before you bought in someone to replace him."

"Angela isn't replacing him. He's still my deputy, he's still got his office and his staff. He's kept a lot of his work, he's staffing the president, he's still on the senior staff for God's sake. Why do people keep saying that I've replaced him. First Toby, then CJ, now you?"

"Maybe it feels to Toby and CJ like you have. Look, this is none of my business, it's your work and you're good at it, I know that. I just think you need to examine your motives because you're obviously not happy with what's happened."

"I'm fine with it."

"Then why have you been lying there awake for the last three hours?"

Leo knows the answer to that. He can't sleep because, while he may have succeeded in pacifying the leadership, he's alienated Josh in the process. Not that Josh is lacking support, he's got Toby for one and Donna. Those two make a formidable team. Josh will be fine, he's tough and he'll bounce back, but Leo doesn't want to stay at odds with him forever . "Maybe I should talk to him."

"Maybe you should," Jordan agrees. 

_____________________________________

"It's a glitch," Josh insists, as he carries the phone back into the living room. "I'm not leaving. I know you want me to work in a nice cozy nine to five job in the private sector, but I don't want to. I like politics, it's what I'm good at - normally."

"Yes I know. I had to try though, you'd think I was ill if I didn't," his mother smiles.

"You should come up for a visit," Josh impulsively offers.

"I'm an old woman, Josh, it's a long flight," Ruth laughs.

Josh laughs, "Oh please, you're never at home. I'm serious, come and stay for a few days. I'd come down there, but I can't get away."

"Worried they might change the lock on your office?"

"Yeh," Josh grins.

"Next weekend?"

"Yeh, let me know your flight and I'll meet you at the airport."

"Or Donna will."

"That is possible," Josh agrees with a smile. "I haven't been avoiding you, you know. I have been busy."

"I know."

"There's someone at the door, I've got to go. Call me when you know your flight."

Ruth's no idiot. She knows the reason Josh has invited her to stay is because he feels guilty. He feels guilty that he didn't call on his birthday and that he's been avoiding her calls all week. Not that she's going to let that stop her visiting, it's been too long she was in Washington.

_____________________________________

"It's Sunday afternoon, what's up?" Josh asks.

"I won't disturb you for long. I tried to call earlier," Leo tells him.

"I went for a run. What's going on?"

"You think I've been too hard on you?"

"I think you've done what you felt you had to."

"That's not an answer, Josh."

"It's the only answer I've got," Josh replies.

"No it isn't. One thing you're not is short of words and you're certainly never afraid to speak your mind."

"Yeh," Josh agrees, "and look where that got me. Is that all you want because this is my day off and I've got stuff to do."

"We need to sort this out," Leo tries again.

"Or I'll have more days off?"

"You're not going to get fired, Josh. Christ, Angela isn't here to replace you. She's good at what she does, I've worked with her before and I know I can trust her."

"What, she wasn't available in '97?" Josh snaps.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Leo asks. "You're still my deputy."

"Not if I'm not allowed inside I'm not," Josh replies, the anger that's been building all week suddenly breaks free. "I don't want a title and a staff, I don't give a damn what you call me. If you're shutting me out of everything, then what's the point?"

"Angela's staying."

"I'd already worked that out."

"She's not taking your job," Leo continues. "I don't know how many ways I can say that. You've been spread thinner and thinner over the last five years and it's time to rethink who does what. Since Sam left you've taken on some of his duties, things Will has no experience in. You need to step back a little."

"Right the way back to my office and stay there," Josh retorts.

"If you're not going to listen, then I may as well go."

"Yeh," Josh agrees, but as Leo reaches the door he changes his mind. "No. No you're right, we have to sort this. Let's have a coffee and try again?"

Once they're sat down with their drinks, Josh wonders where to start and Leo's wonders what Josh is going to say. 

"Donna bought me a file," Josh beings, "she calls it her 'what a shame folder'. It's full of stuff we never got round to doing."

"Like?" Leo asks.

"Special education for disabled kids, foreign adoption, assistance for the long term sick to get back into work. You know, the things we've never had time to do. I think she thinks I need a new direction, or maybe just some work then I'll stop annoying her with stupid questions," a fleeting smile crosses Josh's face. "If I can't have my old responsibilities then I need some new ones. I'm not willing to sit in my office all day taking meetings with schedulers and 'otter preservation trusts'. I need to do real work, Leo, or there's no point in my being there."

"You saying you'd quit?" Leo asks.

"You want me to?"

"No," Leo insists.

"I had three offers Friday alone. Seems there's people out there who need the services of a political operative who can't keep his mouth shut."

"Contrary to what you might think, I'm one of them. So who are my rivals?"

"Private sector."

"That'd make Ruth happy," Leo comments. He's well aware that Josh's mother would much rather see him safe in the private sector than the target of hate mail and bullets at the White House.

"She's coming up next weekend."

"I should hide then?" Leo smiles.

"That'd probably be a good idea," Josh agrees with a faint smile.

"Josh, if you want to look into some of the things we've not had time for, then okay. But you do still have plenty of work to do."

Josh nods.

"And you have to find a way to work with Angela."

"Not if we're doing different things I don't."

"Yes you do. The staff see you shunning her and plenty of them are going to do the same. She couldn't care less whether people like her, but I don't want infighting. You're the deputy chief of staff, part of your role is to ensure the staff work well together."

Josh bites back a retort about Angela not being his choice, about how if she's so damn good why does she need him to win the staff over. Instead he nods, "Yeh, I'll try."

"Okay. I should go. Say hi to your mom for me," Leo smiles ruefully.

END


End file.
